Second reason I’ve come up with is that let’s take an honest step back and acknowledge that I am quite funny and charming. My jokes are hilarious and my delivery couldn’t be more perfect. I usually make girls swoon at me. which again can be quite endearing yet awe inspiring at the same time. 

Now when you read this you’re saying to yourself besides the fact that you’re hot and bothered is ” isn’t this what girls want anyways?” No, sometimes their standards are higher, some standards are lower (linday lohan). I unfortunately am at that perfect medium. My perfection is really a curse in disguise, it’s exhausting. And much like when you acquire something you covet, you don’t want it after. These women require a packed resume, yet have no idea what to do with it when such a candidate shows up( aren’t I correct side of the ladies’ room that’s taking this thought way too seriously?) same goes for the men. When they get themselves a perfect 10 they require an 11. 

Another thing is that I’m soooo nice and that I respect women onto a high pedestal. A girl even told me that she can’t go out with me because I’m too nice, which helped me realize. I don’t feed into the trauma of the drama, and that is just too perfect for them. Again curse. I open doors for them, I take them out to nice dinners, I buy them awesome presents usually jewelry( and a inner circle of mine knows what buying jewelry for girls gets you), and I tell them how pretty they are in a random note or bouquet of flowers. i really go the extra mile for them, and I tell them that it’s not a chore but a privilege, and they know it’s a chore for them to accept all these lavish things. Guys could really get serious life lessons from my greatness.

One thing I can take completely out of the picture is my ego. I have none. I’m quite humble actually as you  can tell. That’s yet another burdening quality to me that makes me an amazing significant other. Girls complain that I don’t have a giant ego, that I’m too humble and too humbling. I’m like a king that acts as one of the guys. 

So I fit the criteria: Great looking, respectful to women’s needs, charming and funny, and high self esteem/ low ego. It’s a mystery, it really is, but I have figured it out and am here to share with the wonderful women out there to let them know that the pressure is off, that it’s okay to come chat with a 19 year old Johnny Depp. Sources (Kiera Knightly) told me that’s what women want (used to be Mel Gibson until he respectfully disagreed with his significant other)(again “What Women Want” and epic tirade reference just in case). After some “Dust in The Wind”-listening by the lake- soul searching time I feel….know that I have narrowed down the enigma that is “Why doesn’t Sean have a girlfriend?”