May 24th, Sunday

The weather these days are hot as hell……I seriously start to wonder how is the human race going to cope when the ice caps have all melted down. Supposedly, the fire should be burning up my eyebrows now. By fire, I mean that my final exams for college are due to start tomorrow and I’m still here writing this thing.

Sometimes I can be really stubborn. I just can’t bring myself to study unless it’s a few hours before the exam. That is the time my brain seems to work at its best, but also the time where I scold & lecture myself for not revising earlier and the time where I’m panicking and wishing to give up. I’m really stubborn, ain’t I? Every exam, test or assignment, I would go through this process. It’s like I enjoy the high and panic moment right before the exam. It feels like my brain and mind works most efficiently under stress and pressure. Don’t you think its stupid?

It’s not like I’m bad at academics, to be honest, I’m pretty darned good at it. The only problem is that, I couldn’t being myself to do it, that’s my fatal point. I don’t understand why is it so. Does anyone else has this problem? I wonder whether its because I’m too confident on my part that I leave it to the last minute to revise. You know, it sounds like I’m giving myself excuses when in reality I’m actually stubborn, lazy and procrastinating.

Sigh…what am I to do with myself…

I should really pull myself together, my degree and future depends on this, people hold high hopes for me, even for those who has left my side, I know I promised, I know they are rooting for me. I know they are waiting for my good news. I know I shouldn’t give up. I know I should start fighting. It’s less than a week, I can do it. I must do it. I believe in myself. I will prove myself worthy. I will complete my promise. I will finish this.

For the both of you.

I swear.