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In the kitchen there was another story, it was a hive of activity, full of chatter and laughter as people prepared food tea and coffee and alcoholic and soft drinks. There was always a crowd sitting around the kitchen table talking about the old days and the dearly departed. They were remembering the good times- the fun times. A lifetime was being celebrated. Everything that made that person lying in the living room in a coffin that they were when they were alive was being discussed. Laughed about, joked about and sweetly remembered.

Clocks being stopped, mirrors being covered and blinds being drawn had nothing to do with religious ritual as far as I knew – it was a mark of respect under one roof there was two contrasting events taking place each participant only there to show their respect and in their own way celebrate the person who had passed on.

For most of my adult life I can’t say that I believe in much of anything. Not God and certainly not luck. Things just happen and we have little control over it, we just have to get on with it. I have to admit though that at times I worry about what would be regarded as irrational notions. For the last 17 years I have not been able to keep a mirror in my home. Every mirror I have ever had has been smashed or broken. Anyone that knows me that believes in luck would I believe, describe me as an unlucky person.

A few months ago the mirror from my bathroom cabinet fell out and hit me on my foot. Luckily my foot was just bruised…the mirror however was smashed to pieces and I couldn’t help feeling my heart sink and a sense of foreboding. “Am I fated to 7 years bad luck?” I couldn’t help thinking. Remember, this is a person who says. “I don’t believe in luck, I believe in attitudes”. I believe in the power of positive mental attitude and I believe that it is important no matter how difficult life is that when looking back look back and cling to the positive things that have happened in your life. That way, you can look forward with positive aspirations.

The last few years have been increasingly more difficult and I must admit that just now things are still very difficult. I find myself thinking back to that day when the mirror fell out and wondering is there anything to these old superstitions…Am I just fated to be an unlucky person? I have started to open the forwards that I get in my email box (you know the ones that promise good things or bad things depending on your actions)? And I forward them on to other people who probably don’t really want to receive that sort of mail.  I am developing a sense of dread that perhaps all this time I have invited bad luck on myself.

My sister, sensible and well balanced looked at me as though I was an idiot when I told her of my fears. “You are starting to sound as though you are developing paranoia” she said. “Get over it. Life will pick up” ….and I know that…but I wish that mirror hadn’t smashed.