Asylum.com recently took a poll regarding crucial and timely information that had to be reported publically in our lifetime.  There were 83,000 responses – far less than the number of votes an American Idol might receive, but enough votes to get a quick blurb on the blogs.  So am I trying to accomplish the same blog blurbing?  Of course not.  I have many other ways to be immature.

First, the survey results. 

1. The list, in order, of the top six female celebrities people would like to party with include Megan Fox, Tina Fey, Paris Hilton, Penelope Cruz, Lindsey Lohan, and Kim Kardashian.  Standards have really dropped since I went to college.  More importantly, how does Paris Hilton end up third on this list?  Are guys thinking she picked up a few things in prison?  Let’s face facts; the term “party with” means naked or wet T-shirt contest to guys.  It’s not anything intellectual — trust me, that part hasn’t changed since college.
2. George Clooney tops the list of guys people would like to party with, but it gets unsettling after that.  The order is Clooney, Owen Wilson, Michael Phelps, Jeremy Piven, Jay-Z, and Joaquin Phoenix.  So, “What’s wrong with this list,” you might say?  Wilson tried to kill himself, Phelps gets caught doing a bong, Piven claimed to have had mercury poisoning recently, Jay-Z raps, and Joaquin’s brain has recently turned to jelly.  The equivalent of the phrase, “party with” to women is, “I can fix his problems — I’m majoring in psychology.”  Clooney is only accused of having a fear of commitment which he defends by saying he works too much.  Those women not majoring in psychology just have to get naked for George.
3. The celebrity who would be the biggest downer at a party is Danny Bonaduce followed by Paris Hilton, Moby, Corey Feldman, Jeff Goldblum and Steven Adler.  So Hilton makes the list again.  People don’t like the other folks because they talk – even when everyone else is naked.

So what does this really mean?  To understand the poll results, we must look back at our last financial depression.  People today are commenting on how Franklin Roosevelt (FDR) didn’t actually bring the U.S. out of the Great Depression – World War II brought us out of the Great Depression – Roosevelt just happened to be sitting in the hot seat when it happened.  This poll is actually about Spring Break.