A spaceship from another planet has landed in your corn field.  An alien comes out of the ship.  He does not look friendly.  Here are ten things that you should not say to a hostile alien:

1.   Would you like to hear a corny joke?  How many aliens does it take to change a light bulb?  Hmm, not answering.

2.   What do you do with that third eye?  It really looks weird.

3.   Can’t you read the sign? Illegal aliens are not wanted here.

4.   Are you part of Men in Black?  Your outfit is so real.

5.   You resemble Shrek.  Would you like to take a dip in the swamp?  It’s just a couple miles away.

6.   That is one neat blaster.  Does it really work?  Why are you pointing it at me? Can’t you speak English?

7.   You are ugly.  Is your mother as ugly as you?  And boy do you ever smell.  In fact, you smell worse than cow manure.

8.   That is one huge belly.  I like green skin, but this is ridiculous.  Also, why do you have those weird things sticking out of your head?

9.   You’ve really done it now.  You’ve upset the livestock.  The pigs are oinking at each other.  My rooster is going nuts.  Thanks for nothing.  Can you please move your damn spaceship off my property? 

10.  Can you please turn off your lights?  I’m trying to get some sleep.  While you’re at it, turn off the beeping sound from your spaceship.  It’s too loud.  Hey, are you hard of hearing?  Get moving!  I saw that.  Don’t you stick your lizard tongue out at me again!