A well thought out and presented gift may be the difference between a grateful couple, and a regretful host. If you have been invited to a wedding, bridal shower or engagement party you need to bring a gift. Most couples register with one or more shops or department stores. Common registry items include kitchenware or linens, as well as a few more indulgent items like fancy coat racks or decorative mirrors and photo frames. It the thought that really counts, but be sure to avoid the common gifting mistakes, because many brides and grooms are disappointed with some of their guests’ gift choices.

Do Not Out-Do The Parents

I spoke with Jan and Shawn, who recently married in December of 2009. They were a bit put-off by one guest’s decision to purchase the most expensive gift on the list. “What was the problem with that?”, I asked. 

Jen replied , ” The biggest gift on our registry was a set of china that we chose from a local department store. The set included everything we needed for a formal table setting for up to 16 guests. It was expensive, really expensive. My parents wanted to be the ones to give us that. Instead, one of Shawn’s female co-workers bought it for us before my mom could get to the store.”

If you are a part of the wedding party, or immediate family, expensive gifts are welcomed, but do not assume the responsibility of one of those people if you are just an acquaintance, or your expensive gift may not be well received.

Worst Gift

“Other than the china situation, our worst gift was from my grandmother. We had listed a really nice, and expensive, complete pot and pan set in blue. We specified blue because it matched the color scheme that I planned for our new kitchen. Grandma bought herself some new pans, told all of my family she already got the pot and pan set, and gave us her old ones. Her old pans were, as she said, ’supposed to be passed down’ and she couldn’t see us purchasing the ‘crap they make nowadays.’ I was infuriated, and really shocked to see her old pans all wrapped up in a box at my bridal shower.”, ranted Jen

If you are not be able to purchase larger items off of the registry, choose a smaller item, or purchase something off of the registry. Do not give a gift that replaces something on the registry though. If you have a family heirloom, like pots or pans, give them to the couple separately from your gift. Other family heirlooms like family silver, or a locket necklace are well received as wedding or shower gifts.

Best Gift

“Our favorite gift from Jen’s shower was a handmade quilt that featured a photo of the two of us together from our dating years in each square. It was perfect, and it made Jen cry.” Shawn stated.

Sometimes, the best give you can give is genuine interest in the happiness and romance of the couple. Personalized gifts are a wonderful and creative substitution for the average registry gift.