Occurred-July 2011

            Frat boys as a whole are fucking stupid. They have no game. They can’t handle their liquor and they fight about as well as a midget with Lou Gherig’s Disease. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to throw some underage jerk off with a Polo shirt and shorts that looks like a clown got his head blown off on them out of a shitty bar. The only reason I will even talk to frat boys is if:

A.)   Their soul hasn’t been taken by their jerk off “brothers” that feel the smartest way to get girls is by setting the world record for a keg stand

B.)   They are inspired enough by my Ginger awesomness to buy me shots…

C.)   They have sorostitute with them that are eye fucking the shit out of me….

It’s not only that they do stupid shit. They do stupid shit for STUPID REASONS. I have never really gotten seriously pissed off or injured by any of their stupid human tricks. That was until one night. It’s like Randy Couture says, “Sooner or later you’re going to get caught.” I got caught. I also got really pissed off and two frat boys got their carotoid arteries cut off for a brief amount of time. Oh yea and BROKE A FLYING BEER BOTTLE WITH MY FOREARM. Here’s the story:

            I was working at  IrishFratBar. It was about as hot and packed as a slave ship but instead of enslaved African-Americans it was frat boys, guidos, and sorostitutes all sipping on their Bud Lights and lemon drops (or whatever pussy alcohol they were drinking). While everyone else was having a great time I was fucking miserable. I just wanted the night to be over with so I could hop in my car and crank the AC up. I was sweating like Catholic Priest watching Law and Order: SVU.

            It was one of those nights where you KNEW something was about to happen. Me and BamBam were working inside and about every 5 minutes we had to go break up some scuffle before it turned into a shit storm of frat boy haymakers (think hill billy haymakers without the technique) and lousy shit talking. I thought we had everything under control.