When did we become such lemmings?  Tomorrow morning, I will be dragged to a number of department stores by my wife, beginning at about 4am.  And it will not be random; she has put together a schedule and plan as concise as any military operation ever put together.  But this is an old tradition; it’s been going on for as long as I can remember.  We even have a name for it…. the day after Thanksgiving.  And as much as I hate it, I long ago accepted it.  As much as I don’t want to get up and be a part of this barbaric housewife ritual, you on occasion have to make sacrifices in a marriage.

     But now they’ve gone too far.  This year, out of the blue, they gave the damn day a cute little name.  Black Friday.  As if the commercializing of a random day wasn’t bad enough, they have now re-commercialized it.  Sounds great in the ads we’ve been deluged with, doesn’t it? And they’re all in on it.  Wal Mart, K mart, Sears, Kohl’s, Herbergers, Younkers, Elder Beerman, Old Navy, Target.  Just milking away at us.

     No doubt, over the next several years, a series of ‘traditions’ will be instituted by the advertising powers that be; things that will undoubtedly cost me money.  Perhaps I’ll have to buy my wife a dozen black roses.  There will be t shirts and greeting cards. (not that I mind buying my wife flowers… I just don’t like being told when I’m supposed to.)  Argh!

     This manufacturing of artificial holidays is getting out of hand.  Sweetest Day?  Grandparents Day?  Secretary’s Day?  F*cking Boss’s Day?  What the hell is next?  Bank Teller’s Day?  Felon’s Day?  Why the hell not?  Everyone else gets one. 

     So, to the advertising folks responsible for this farce:  You can take Black Friday and place it firmly up your collective rears.  If you don’t mind, I’m just going to go on ahead and keep calling it what it is.  The day after Thanksgiving.  And I’m not buying a damn greeting card.