Image by Alex E. Proimos via Flickr

Well here it is almost 2 a.m. and I’m still awake.  Have all these thoughts rotating around in my head and just can’t seem to make them stop.  I’m not a pill person so getting a Dr. to prescribe sleeping pills is out of the question.  I chalk up the insomnia to old age.  What can  you say!   The reason I say old age is because when you get old the money you get just doesn’t seem to match the cost of living.  I know everyone is having financial problems.  It’s a dilema that is being felt all over the world.  I realize that there has always been poverty but it is becoming more and more worldwide.  Even the countries that have money are feeling the pinch.  I remember when they started saying that the “baby boomers” were going to have a problem with the Canada Pension Plan (CPP).  They said that it wouldn’t pay for a persons retirement and , you know what?  They were absolutely right!   I worked for a number of years while me children were growing up as well as was included in my husband’s CPP.  For the years that I worked and didn’t make enough to have to pay CPP I received no credit except a portion of my ex-husband’s CPP for all the years I was able to claim for.  What about the years that I didn’t work?  When I was JUST a mom.  For the hours put in for no pay.  Did the government ever take that into consideration?  I DON’T THINK SO! Think about this for a second,  in Canada we are allowed to take an early retirement at the age of 60 provided you are deemed eligible.  Anyway, this means that you are retired 5 years before normal retirement.  Now that you are retired, you are able to work without having to pay CPP again.  NICE you’re probably saying!  WHAT A LAUGH, is what I say.  For the 20+ years I spent working and paying into the system you would think I would receive a nice pension including my ex-husband’s portion to me.   I suppose if someone held a job that paid enormous amounts of money and they paid high payments to CPP because of these good wages, then one could hope to receive a good pension.  However, too many women in my era were still taught to believe in the Ideal family.  (Happily married couple, with children and a stay-at-home mom.)  Instead, many women became a single parent family with no support from the other parent whatsoever.  (The Dead-Beat Dad)   So here I am, after all these years of struggling for retirement, to find that I can’t really afford to retire yet being unable to find work because people believe I’m too old to work.  I should be enjoying my retirement.  The truth of it is!  I WOULD LIKE TO BE ENJOYING MY RETIREMENT however the lack of money in my pocket prevents me from doing it and the lack of a job makes it even tougher to do.   Is life really suppose to be this difficult?  Are we always supposed to feel like “we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place?”  Is this what life is really all about?