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It’s a funny thing about short weeks: they always feel so long.

So here we are on the Tuesday before turkey day, and you’ve got to burn about 15 hours off the clock before you taste sweet freedom.

But we know one way to make it out alive: subterfuge.

Enter Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction, your new handbook for turning office high jinks into an art form.

First of all, don’t worry: there’s nothing inside that will land you on an FBI watch list. (We don’t think.) Instead, you’ll find about 40 ways to turn the office supplies you rarely think about—staplers, rubber bands, the occasional butterfly clip (because no one ever suspects the butterfly clip)—into mildly dangerous vessels of liberty.

We hesitate to tell you too much—we don’t want blood on our hands. But we can tell you a bit about the Eraser Dart (required: scotch tape, résumé paper, an eraser and one sharp pin; recommended use: destroying paper trails), the Crossbow (required: a pencil, a rubber band, duct tape and a pen; recommended use: filing expenses) and the Water Bomb (required: paper, scissors, water; recommended use: two words—scotch grenades).

And then there’s a little something called the CD Spindle Catapult.

We’ve already said too much.