After so long of hiding i cant really think of any where else to hide, the fear is tearing me apart.what it has become has mo escape. The pain and torture it has put me though would have driven a normal person mad. To get ride of it would have to cost a life and I’m not ready to die. yeah, i know there’s a turning point, I’m scared of myself. Why you may ask? Well have you ever been in a place that is just to good to be true then all the sudden its ripped right out from under your feet. then all the sudden your lying on a floor, naked, cold, unaware of who you are or what you are anymore. having every second you live feel like a lie, that something is holding you down, beating the life out of you. it’s tied cement blocks to your feet and you drag yourself where ever this new person you’ve found takes you. and every moment your scared on what is going to happen next, what is on the other side. and most importantly scared because you don’t know who you are.

And this is what it is like for me, Ellie. All i know about myself is that my name is Ellie, i have brown hair, green eyes, and my occupation…. lets just say for now its complicated. I don’t remember anything from past years of my life, and recently i have come to find that i was taken from my home, where ever that is, and sent here to this slum to be used as a drug trafficker and a sex slave. and its the most terrifying thing ever. do be a prisoner to the worst of people. I have come to have myself, to be scared of me because i don’t know what will happen to me, or what I’m going to do. I’m so scared of everything around me and its so hard to think of life outside these 4 walls. it hurts to much, to think about what i could have had, what i did have. even if it was bad, it couldn’t have been as bad as this. i want to be able to do what i need and want to do. and not be pushed around by those “bad-asses” who think they own me.

But by being in here, and seeing everything that goes on, its makes me feel like there is no hope for the outside world, its seems that no other emotions are left besides fear.