How to make a Gin and Tonic

This is something of a personal matter.  If only every barman, barwoman, and the odd illegal bar child read this and took heed, then I would be a happy man!

Right, how to make a Gin and tonic:  Firstly, get a tall doubles glass.  This is not a half pint glass, or in fact a single glass.  A decent size, preferably specifically designed long drink glass. 

Now, fill the glass with ice.  For a Gin and Tonic the glass really should be full of ice.  It’s a summer drink, and ice isn’t so expensive that you have to ration it!!  So, fill the glass with ice, WHAT, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!! THAT GLASS ISN’T A DAM ICE SCOOP YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE IDIOT!!! Ok, so maybe that’s a bit harsh, but honestly, who uses a brittle transparent thing like glass to scoop ice?  What if pieces break off into the ice?  Its just bad practice.

Next, take a piece of lime.  Gently rim the glass, imagine that you’re rimming a beautiful…. Wait no, that analogy is perhaps a little inappropriate.  Still, gently rim the glass with a lime, squeeze the lime in, and discard like a Christmas puppy.   If you now have lime bits and juice and bits running down you glass, you have a bad Gin and tonic, (not to mention an unsatisfied girlfriend). 

Right, now, place a wedge of lime in the glass.  Not lemon , this should be made very clear.  Lemon is G and T is a throw back to the war, the war is over now, no need for poor drink penitence!!  So, lime in, now gin in.  Make sure you don’t put your fingers where the customer is going to drink, they really should get to know your better before they get your fingers in their month!!    What kind of gin you choose depends on personal preference.  Personally I favour tanq for a G and T, although Bombay offers a more delicate taste.  Hendrix is very good indeed, but more for cranberry than tonic I find.

Now that you have the gin in, open a bottle of tonic, and get to the complex moment.  Now, I favour pouring all the tonic in, no doubt the customer will tell you if they are upset,  You can always do the technically correct method of asking ‘all in?’ or in fact the ‘half pour’.  I think any is pretty much acceptable.

Now, napkin under your drink, stirrer in, straw in.  Then place your drink, nay work of art on the bar.  Gin drinkers like a good G and T.  They will appreciate what you have done for them.  They will return, and they will be happy.   Perhaps one day they will save your life, to re-pay the service you have rendered them.

O DEAR GOD THE GERMANS HAVE GOT PASSED OUR DEFENCES, HITLER AND HIS BAND OF NAZIS IS ABOUT TO TAKE THE COUNTRY!!!!  HA!!! Caught you out thinking were still in World War two didn’t  I ?!?!?  Right, shake out of it and go buy some limes!