The Ride

I watch him again today

running over green hills.

I feel vibrations,

his hooves

pounding the ground.

He races into me

careless.

I wonder how these flimsy fences

can contain him.

I ask with my hands

with my quiet voice

before I take the halter

and latch it

over his heavy head,

before I lead him to the barn.

I run the brush over his warm coat

again

and again

and again.

I spill secrets

into his soft,

twitching ears,

because they are too heavy

for my frail frame to carry.

I whisper wishes

for him to hold,

tucked behind his wings.

I reach for the saddle

the bridle,

the tools I use

to ride the wind.

I lead him to the arena

so he can teach me

how to leave my fears

on the ground.

He is my North Star,

he leads me back

broken

into our old constellations. 

But I cannot fly with him forever

I would bring him down

his wings would be too heavy

weighted with my world.

So I slow him down

I bring him back

down

down to the ground

to free him

of my tools

of myself.

He butts his head into my chest,

rubs it against me,

a temporary farewell.

He breathes into my skin.

looks at me,

his dark eyes reflect my image.

Then he turns

and races away.

And I am left

I am left,

just me.