Once again I have peered into the darkest depth of creation and have pulled from the very nose of God himself a truth of incredulous potency. What I have to tell you here cannot be discounted – it is absolute. It also doubles as my response to the Writing Challenge – Round 9, where something is to be written using the words “blushing bride” and “artist”.
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One could be tempted to think that I am about to dive into the theoretical madness of physics and expunge my vast library of intelligence onto a disinterested audience that would prefer to hear in intricate detail the reflection of the full moon off a drop of dew resting delicately on a virgin rose petal. Never fear for there is too much fat accumulated within the fathomless depths of my cranial neurons to barely make a coherent thought yet alone make a statement of any meaning to the world of either Newtonian, Relativistic, or Quantum Physics. The mental freaks of nature that live in this arena are well beyond my capacity to comprehend – they are enveloped in their own superiority of theoretical mathematics and universal constructs; yet I know something they don’t.
There are a large number of constants used in physics, from the force of gravity, the speed of light to the charge of an electron. Apparently just the slightest change in any one of them would result in a universe that is ruled by giant spiders that lay eggs in human brains to feed their young. There are murmurings in the ranks however that perhaps these constants are not so constant after all. Perhaps they have wasted their lives like the rest of us useless scum that feed at the bosom of mother earth and drain her of the very Gaia life essence. So forget those nerdy geeks for they know nothing of real import.
Of course where the scientists stumble there are the theologians and philosophers standing there to gloat – laughing wicked contemptuous cackles and pointing stubby little ear wax stained fingers and heckling “we told you so, we told you so”. Inevitably some may direct you to the Buddha, who was to have mumbled once to a drunken monk the First Noble Truth that “Life is Dukkha”. When I first heard this I thought that Dukkha was a euphemism for a giant steaming turd, which as it turns out was not too far from the truth. “Life is Dukkha” generally refers to the supposed truth that life is suffering. I am not going to argue with that because frankly it‘s just plain freaking obvious. For every moment of our tortuous lives there is some measure of discontent – even if its something as lowly as an itch in the middle of your stupid fat back that you just can’t reach so you rub yourself against a door frame only to have your boss walk in on you and once again wonder to them self what the hell it is you do around the place. This though is not the universal constant. It is however the life constant – a very human infliction.
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