Bert yelled, “It won’t go through the door Fred!” 

“Hold up a minit will yer?” replied Fred testily, 

“’ere, you five keep er up, an’ lemme take a butcher’s at this ere door.”

The worried five stood still and sweated profusely but with calm dignity as befitted those of there profession, whilst the dead weight of Mrs Cossett’s  twenty five stone corpse bore down on their straining shoulders.

Fred looked at the living room door with years of experience and said. “OK lads, I’ll just be a jiffy.

He opened wide the door, and expertly lifted it off the rising butt hinge, and carefully leaned the door against the hall wall. Then he quickly took his corner of the coffin,

“Ready lads?” he said and began the slow march into the room made ready for the viewing of the body. As the six Pall Bearers gingerly placed Mrs Cossett on her penultimate resting place, there was an audible sigh. (Not from the body, I hasten to add!) 

“Well done lads,” said Fred, “We’ll pick ‘er up afta the tea.” He walked out to the hearse with his team rearranging their sweaty faces into ones of solemn composure as they followed on behind. 

Cedric, Mrs Cossett’s younger brother, had been watching this spectacle from the window seat by the stairs. He waited till they left, then walked slowly into the room, where Maggie lay in state. He leaned over the coffin and peered with distaste at the composed cherubic face of his nemesis.

“So you managed to die before I found it did you?” he asked in that rather spiteful way, that those who had crossed him knew well. Cedric thought about how clever he had been and sang quietly to himself.“Old Mother Hubbard, who lived in a zoo, she had so many animals, and didn’t have a clue.”  Cedric chuckled,as he sang his version of the nursery rhyme. 

“What was that you said?” demanded an angry voice from behind.  He turned and looked at his oldest nephew Tom, although not as rotund as his sister, he was a commanding presence for all that.