When my parents said “No”, I accepted it. It was the end of the discussion.

It is now some three and a half decades later.

My son (Krish) wakes me up one Sunday morning. I am in deep sleep. I slowly become aware of someone tickling my eyes, my nose, my forehead, and my cheeks. I struggle to open my eyes. As soon as I do, I see my dear son. No words are exchanged. He just makes actions with his clenched fists, which I immediately recognize as “him steering a car wheel”. In other words, he’s asking me for my car. I am mad. I was having a beautiful dream. I shake my head, implying an emphatic “No”.

But I can’t go back to sleep again. I try, but I can’t. I grudgingly open my eyes, and really feel like shaking Krish. The following conversation ensues.

Krish: “It’s my friend’s birthday today and all of us are meeting at her place to wish her.”

Me: “At seven in the morning?”

Krish: “Yes.”

Krish again: “I would have gone by bus, but then the travel alone would take two hours. And since we have my cousins over for the weekend, I know you need me at home to help you.”

Me: “All true. But still, my answer is ‘No’.”

Everyone then gets involved in making breakfast. Fifteen minutes later, the following conversation takes place:

Krish: “Please can I take the car. I won’t be long. Maximum an hour. I’ll take my cousin Nathan too so that you know I’ll be back in time. Ple….ase.”

Me: “Okay.”

[Perhaps I should have stuck to saying "No". But in this case I know for a fact that Krish would have persisted. He would have gone on coming up with some new argument to justify his going by car. He never gives up. Also, since it was a Sunday and I was not using the car, I decided that sometimes it is better to give in. Note: Krish is 21 and with a driving license.]

Conclusion

(i) The youth of today never give up. They go on and on till they get what they want. (ii) They are also not stupid. They push for their demands when they are in a stronger position. (iii) They never tire of negotiating and renegotiating (Who knows? In a weak moment, the other party might agree).   

As parents, it is never easy. We always do what we think is best. Sometimes we have to say “Yes” for some of the smaller demands (like taking my car on a Sunday morning) so that we can say “No” for some of the bigger demands (like him pestering me for a motorbike, which is definitely unsafe in today’s traffic conditions).

Afterthought

And if I thought I was smart, my son is even smarter. Sometimes he pesters me for something so big, so unattainable, and so unsafe (like a motorbike) that I am just glad to give him something else (like a new computer) – that I normally would have just said “No” to.