The new season of American Idol has seen some less than stellar performances.  Nevertheless, it’s time to open up some fortune cookies and see what the future holds for the contestants.

1.   Don’t be safe.  Take chances!

2.   Don’t take chances.  Be safe!

3.   Listen to your heart but don’t be pitchy.

4.   Stop dreaming!  You’re never going to make it as a star.

5.   Judge not whether you are right or wrong.  Let the public be your judge.

6.   You’re good.  You’re bad.  You’re mediocre.  You’re confused.  Get off the stage!

7.   Simon says, “You sound like a human karaoke machine.”

8.   You’re a thousand times better than you were last week.  You still suck as a singer.

9.   You have a beautiful smile.  Perhaps you should become a hygienist.

10. If I hear one more contestant talk about their dream,  I’m going to lose it all over the floor.

11. This is the best group of contestants ever.  Now I know I’ve entered fantasy land.

12. Next time, we need to hold auditions in Detroit.

13. Where are you Paula?  We need you to come back.