It was the night before Christmas Eve, Santa was missing and nowhere to be found according to his trusted elves and I use the term loosely.  It seems Santa had a few drinks before he left his house to go check on his sleigh.  Santa’s elves made it pretty clear that Santa had staggered out the door, stumbling down the steps, landing face down into the snow.  The elves swore to me that Santa did manage to pull his self together, get up from the snow covered ground and continued to stagger on his way.  The elves claimed a five minute walk to the sleigh turned into a nightmare for Santa.  I can still hear those elves laughing.  It seems Santa forgot where he parked his sleigh, by this time he had staggered a half mile away from his house before realizing he was headed in the wrong direction.  Santa tried calling Mrs. Claus from his cell phone for a ride back to his sleigh, but there was no answer, the elves said there was no way Mrs. Claus could answer Santa’s call because Mrs. Claus was passed out with a bottle of gin by her side.  The elves said it must have been that half bottle of gin Santa left behind.

Santa slipped and slide his way back to his sleigh only to find his rein deers were missing.  Santa’s elves had left his rein deers inside the stable behind the back of Santa’s house.  Santa was mad about that thing too, he cussed and fussed until his glasses fell off his face into the snow.  It was dark out, without his glasses, Santa couldn’t see a thing, which is why he stepped on his glasses, crushing them into a thousand pieces.  By this time, Santa was beside himself, mumbling and grumbling about where was his elves when he needed them, little did Santa know, his elves were back at the workshop celebrating his absence.  Santa decided to hold onto his sleigh for some support, when the sleigh started to move, Santa tried to  catchup, but he lost his footing, landing in front of his sleigh.  As luck would have it, the sleigh started moving, rolling right over Santa, leaving him lying flat out in the snow, surrounded by all those gifts his elves forgot to put into his Santa bags, well I’ll be got down yelled Santa, here I am laid out in the snow, no glasses, sleigh down at the foot of the snow hill, surrounded by gifts that the elves forgot to put name tags on.  Needless to say Santa was not a happy camper.

Santa had no way of calling his elves, being that he lost his cell phone somewhere along the way.  Santa thought Mrs. Claus and the elves would have come looking for him by now, but Mrs. Claus was still out like a light and Santa’s elves just didn’t give a darn, something they would never admit to.  The whole thing sounded like a setup to me, I mean really, Santa drinking gin the night before Christmas Eve, Mrs. Claus laid out, drunk as a skunk, the elves having no concern whatsoever as to what may have happened to Santa.

The last I heard, Santa was still out there, I am sure he knows by now, he was setup by those little munchkin elves.  Well, it’s Christmas Day and there are a lot of happy little girls and boys out there.  Santa must have made his way back to the workshop.  I am sure Santa had some little munchkin elves to beat down.