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Thanksgiving has recently passed. Now it’s time for some new fortune cookie sayings to welcome in the holiday season.. Let’s open a few cookies and see what’s inside.

1.  Black Friday always leads to in debt Saturday.

2.  You are about to win a million dollars. NOT!

3.   Romance is in the air. Unfortunately, your feet are planted firmly to the ground.

4.   Don’t pick up the phone! Really, don’t pick up the phone! Too late! You’re receiving a call from your friendly IRS agent.

5.   Buy the gift to the woman you love or prepare to spend a night on the couch.

6.   Having a diet of fast foods will speed up your life’s ending.

7.   Tonight, you shall have passion. Tomorrow, you shall be home in bed with an exotic disease.

8.   Your computer is about to come down with a severe case of virus fever. It may not recover.

9.   Life takes many twists and turns. Too bad you look like a twisted pretzel.

10. Take charge in your life, but be careful when you’re around lightning.

11. Never say bite me when you are around a vampire.

12. Never say wrap me in your arms when you are around the Mummy.

13. Never say disappear from my sight when you are around the Invisible Man.

14. Never say don’t get so hyper when you are around the Incredible Hulk.

15. Never say you need a complete makeover when you are around the Phantom of the Opera.

16. Never say you are a dummy when you are around Chuckie.

17. Never say you can use a nose job when you are around Lord Vodemort.

18. Never say you can really use a haircut when you are around the Werewolf.

19. If your mind is full of wasted thoughts, you just might want to recycle.

20. You are the model of imperfection. No surgery can change your condition.