Why is it that some people appear to get under your skin at times? It may be a co-worker, a friend, an acquaintance amongst others. Well, my theory is that they do this to get us to take a look at ourselves. It’s like a wake up call that it’s time for reflection. For I firmly believe that the very things we dislike in people or that get “under our skin” are really things that we dislike about ourselves or are afraid to come to terms with.

Recently a co-worker decided that her way of thinking about how my my job should be done was better than the way I was currently performing it and offered said advice. I listened intently, thanked her, then indicated to her that my way was quite acceptable and in order.

Of course, I would process what she’d said and perhaps see where I could improve things. She became irate and defensive that I would not implement her advice. I realize that people usually have good intentions when they offer suggestions. On the other hand as adults, we are all capable of getting the job done once we put our mind to it. I am not referring to the lazy here who do nothing in pursuit of a goal or outcome.

What we need to realize is that there is no one way to do a thing. Some paths may be easier than others. The objective is to reach the end result and learn from the experience. Persons who are strong headed like myself will tend to resist being pushed or forced to do something in a certain way. I do welcome suggestions or ideas and sometimes I give it when asked.

I’ve learnt that most of the time people don’t really want our advice, even when they ask for it. They will make a better informed choice about something if they have more information or can view it from another’s perspective. When we push our way into other people’s spaces, and change how things are going, we are affecting the course of another’s life in this universe. So let people be.

Offer sound and helpful advice only when asked. Give people a chance to do things their way so that they can experience a greater part of themselves. And most of all know that all is well if the job gets done, regardless of how it is done as long as it is not hurtful to others.

People will resist your ideas if they feel that it being forced upon them and feel that you are getting under their skin. Namaste!