Many people confuse aggressive behavior and assertive behavior. Mostly in the way that they think aggressive behavior is assertive behavior and are quick to be pleased with themselves for standing up for themselves when wronged. However, it is very important to realize that these are indeed two very different things. It is also important to note that standing up for one’s self is a good thing to do, but there is definitely a right and a wrong way to go about it.

            Aggressive behavior is defined as uncontrolled anger. A person that is wronged in some way and feels anger for that wrong is a very natural feeling to have. However, with aggression this person feels the need to act out on their anger to provide some sort of justice or to be vindicated for the wrong done to them and they tend to take out these supposed needs on the people around them whether they are the ones responsible for the initial feelings of anger, or not.

            I have personally seen this happen on many occasions. I have a sister that is not very good at controlling her emotions at all. Usually she ends up in scrapes of some sort or another and her aggression is expressed in full on fighting, however she can be very verbally aggressive as well. Recently she decided to pick on our youngest sister and accuse her of being a slut and/or having an STD. Things that really did not need to be said to a fifteen year old by a nineteen year old in the first place. But, even more mind blowing about the situation is that the nineteen year old was making comments to our sister that would more accurately describe herself. What made this behavior aggressive is that it was meant to hurt. There was nothing constructive about what she had to say it was all intended to bring her victim down. 

            I believe that my sister’s behavior has a lot to do with nurture. I believe that she has put herself in situations where at times it may have seemed that aggression was the only way out. She also has had a pattern of behavior that would make a person believe that she no longer is in control of herself when she chooses the actions she takes. As a child she did not display nearly as much of the aggressive behavior she now displays. However she did fall into the wrong crowed in her early teens and had some major life changes go on around then. It is not an excuse at all for her behavior, but it is an insight into why she may be the way she is.