I’ve been officially unemployed for 36 work days. It’s really not so bad. I don’t have to get up so early anymore and our dog Samantha loves the fact that I hang out with her all day long and that we can go for walks pretty much anytime we feel like it (even when she doesn’t really feel like it).

I’ve been able to get a lot of stuff done around the house and yard. I have time to read and listen to music. I don’t have to schedule a “laundry” night since I can do laundry any time I want. Not that I like to do laundry, but it’s nice that it’s no longer limited to a specific night of the week.

And, the weather has been great. I can sit out on the deck and enjoy the warm sunshine while listening to all the birds singing. It’s absolutely beautiful here. And yet, there’s something missing. Hmmmm, let me think. What could it be?

Oh, a JOB! That’s what’s missing. It’s amazing that I can fill up each day with all kinds of things, but I still feel like I need to be more productive. That’s probably because I’m a task-master. Each night before leaving work, I’d go over my task list and take great pleasure in marking off all the accomplished items and even greater pleasure in adding new tasks to the list for the next day. I know – crazy, but true. I’d drive home and think about what I’d done that day and what needed to be done the next.

So, although I’m still tasking myself with things to do around the house and I’m setting time aside to search for jobs online and make connections with friends, former business associates, etc., I’m not feeling as fulfilled as when I had my “official” task list (sitting ever so neatly on the left corner of my desk) waiting to greet me each day.

I guess I didn’t realize how much I relied on my work to keep me task-focused and how task-driven I really was. As I think back, did I walk around the office with a strained look on my face and determination in my eyes? Probably. Was it obvious to my co-workers that I despised sitting through long meetings because they interrupted my regularly scheduled tasks? Most likely.

What kind of task-driven maniac had I become?

Have you ever heard someone exclaim “and then it just hit me”? I think that’s what just happened to me…right now as I was writing (I had actually intended to write something entirely different today).

Maybe I need to loosen up a bit. Perhaps I should stop being so persnickety about stuff. Being organized or getting work done isn’t a bad thing. Being crazy about it might not be so good. So, I guess it’s a lesson learned as I move into my 37th day of unemployment….

Anyway, that’s what I think about that.