This is a narration. Please note that the words “he” and “him” are(supposed to be) in italics.
The italics are used to represent the belief the narrator has forced on himself that “he” and himself are two separate entities when in fact “he” simply represents the true thoughts (and consequently) actions of the narrator. To clear things up try to think along the lines of Doublethink (from the novel 1984) the narrator would think along one line while “he” would think along another. However this excerpt is when the narrator has already awoken.
I have found a way to sustain his bloodlust, but now I am unsure if it is truly for the best. Yes he has killed people, quite a few now that i think about it, and I had just stood aside and watched. I watched as he slit their throats, silenced their screams, ended their lives, I should regret just standing there and watching….but I don’t.
In fact I regret finding a method to keep him contempt. I am not saying I relish in the deaths of others, except, for when the death of one sends a message. When one death tips the scales, balancing it out, allowing both sides to see the other for what it truly is. Only when through the death of one a seed is planted, installed with in the masses, slowly growing, spreading, till they have awakened, till their eyes have been opened.
I am beginning to see myself as a Pathologist and humanity as my study. I am unsure whether he is a cure or simply an anti-biotic, a temporary fix. However, I do know that I can no longer sit idly by as humanity shreds itself to pieces, I will awaken the masses and alter humanity’s course of self destruction and if that means that he must kill, then so be it.
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