Warning!! Do not view this or you will laugh 4!

 
Man I don’t know which one is worse, stepping in some dog poop or cat poop.  I just know I don’t like it.  If I want stinky I’ll change diapers.

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O my god it’s so hot outside right now!  Makes me want to strip down and blind a bunch of people.  I feel as if I’m supposed to be some kind of solar panel the way the sun burns my face.  And you can forget about getting a snow cone unless your cookie monster and you are a speed eater.  And really he doesn’t count because all of cookie monster’s cookies fall on the floor.  What a cheat and a waist of perfect cookies!  Wait till I see him, I’m going to poke one of his eyes out and do some Jackie Chan on him!

You do know cars aren’t made like they made them back in the day. They make them out of wash machines and dryers this day and age.  And if you know what I mean about back in the day we drove tanks around instead of cars.  Now when I tell my wife I’m going to the store I tell her “Baby I’m going to the store and I’ll be right back.  I think I’ll take the General Electric this time.  The May Tag is out of gas.”  I told one of my buddies that I bet my dryer will out run your dryer any day.

I’m afraid to put my name in search bar on the enternet in fear of some false information coming up.  I don’t want to read that I’m gay, that’s not true at all.  And I do wear underwear.  No I don’t have a hunch back.  Yes I have all my body parts.  And no my Eye Pad is not rainbow colors.  And I do not pick my nose. that maybe a lie, because sometimes you catch a hanger and look around to see if anyone is looking before you pull out the crowbar. 

Thanks for viewing my peace of comedy.