Why would you think that Johnny’s on drugs? Maybe it’s that he talks to his flower garden for an hour each day. Or, maybe it’s the 2-hour phone calls to Brazil that he keeps making. Maybe it’s the way he sleeps for three hours sprawled across the living room floor. Or, maybe it’s the way he sleeps fourteen hours a day. Maybe it’s the way he drives in the left lane. Maybe it’s the dumbfounded, open-mouthed, silent gaze he gives you when asked a question. Maybe it’s his slurred speech or his inability to focus on a problem more than 30 seconds.

Gee, why would you think he’s on drugs?