When I Die

Beatrice Adams on Oct 2, 2007

Tags: death, dream, instructions, living will, will

I won’t be there to see my instructions fulfilled, but it sure is fun to dream.

I just read this article about interesting ways to die, and it got me thinking about my own death.

Death is a big thing, almost as major as one’s wedding day, because ideally, they have something in common: once you pass it, there’s no turning back.

And like most people, I have my plans for my big day.

None of my plans came to pass on my wedding, so my funeral will be my second chance to get what I want. And this time, I have a game plan: I intend to take everyone by surprise, so they won’t have a chance to “revise” my plans again.

Since I won’t be there to manage things, I thought I should leave this short list of instructions – and hope that when I die, the people around me would respect the dead enough to honor her wishes:

As much as I cherish life in whatever state I may be – for just being able to watch my children live theirs is life enough for me – the time will come when medicine can no longer feasibly, realistically, or affordably maintain my hold on this so-precious life.

When the day comes that I can no longer breathe on my own and there is no real chance that my condition will ever improve, then I ask my family to just keep me comfortable and painless until I finally slip Home to prepare for that joyful day when I meet them again.

Please donate all of my organs to whoever needs it: my eyes, ears, heart, lungs, blood, kidneys, liver – even my hair and, if they are desperate enough, my skin too, though I must say it’s really not in very good condition.

Whatever is left, please have it cremated as soon as possible. I want my family to remember me as a vibrant, living person, not as an empty shell.

I suppose I must have a wake to give my family enough time to grieve with my physical presence, even though it is in ash form. But please make sure not to invite extra guests: I hated visitors when I was alive, and I shall find them even more intrusive when I am dead.

In my country, long and slow funeral processions are common, and they cause traffic jams that make other motorists cuss beneath their breath. Heaven forbid that I should be sworn at after I am dead. So if my family decides to keep my urn at a columbary, then please transport it with as little ado as possible.

However, if it is not against any law, I would much rather have my ashes mixed with soil and used as potting medium for an acacia tree. I first thought a mango tree would be nice, but I doubt anybody would eat its fruit anyway, knowing its history.

This tree would be my final irony, for I have never been able to successfully grow any plant during my lifetime. Hopefully, I would fare better when I am dead.

Besides, I always tell my kids that I will always be with them. With my tree in their garden, I would not only be with them, but with their great grandchildren long after they themselves are gone.

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Comments (11)

Nick Kenney on Oct 3, 2007
WOW! I echo your thoughts… What a beautiful request and I love your writing style. Beatrice, thank you so much for your kind words about my writing…I’ve just not had any luck in getting people to read mine, so, am looking into a true publishing.
You should do the same. YOu have such a gift. The world deserves a chance to read what you have to say…
God’s blessings to you and yours always and many thanks again,
Nick Kenney And please keep writing-your thoughts are worth reading…
francie on Oct 6, 2007
Beatrice, Great article!
Once the depression/shock left me:) I was able to return and reread. I looked at it from a different perspective and found it just Great! What an interesting short story. You are as Nick says
very gifted and this was very read worthy. I believe I will
return to read again! I unfortunately seem ruled by my feelings and heart too much of the time. I need to stand back a bit and things then make fine sense. Thanks for this piece, and keep up the good work!

*thankyou for stopping by and leaving word at my few articles, it is much appreciated.
Darlene McFarlane on Oct 9, 2007
The more I find out about people’s wishes, I find that so many of them are similar. Mine too are a lot like yours. I think it’s a great idea to let your family know what you want.

Your writing was sweet and touching and Nick is right, you do have a beautiful writing style.
Judy Sheldon on Oct 22, 2007
I too have told my family that I prefer cremation to a burial. Why be put in a box when my body is just an empty shell anyway and why go through the added expense? I want them to have a memorial so that they can pay their last respects, comfort one another, and have closure. I really like the way you put it all down on paper, but hope it will be a long time from now. I am just getting to know you.
Beatrice Adams on Oct 25, 2007
Oh, I hope so too, Judy – I hope so too!
Speed Limit on Nov 9, 2007
I liked it too but I have to disagree. By cremating you produce more carbon dioxide which causes global warming. I, being Jewish, prefer our burial tradition of burial without a coffin. This way your body becomes some kind of a fertilizer and can really feed a tree. Thanks for the thought provoking story, Beatrice.
Moses Ingram on Feb 11, 2008
I like what you are saying here and think it’s very logical, but think I may want to leave some arrangements to my children. My reasons for this is I’ve always found that those left behind feel better if they have some decisions to make.
Hope It Was Not Copied on Apr 27, 2008
Reminds me of an article many years ago titled How Will You Spend the Last 24 Hours of Your Life!
Beatrice Adams on Aug 5, 2008
I’m sure we – I, especially – would be interested to see how similar it is. A link would have been very helpful, or a journal/magazine title perhaps.
Kiki Stamatiou on Aug 12, 2008
I think about those things myself. What my funeral would be like. Who I’d like to attend my funeral, and who I would not like to attend my funeral. As you mention in the article, it a deceased persons last chance to celebrate. It is important go out in style. My work appears on the Triond website too, under my pen name Joanna Maharis, which is also my user name.

Thank you so much for a most fascinating story. I relate to so many things you speak of in your story.

Take Care,

Kiki Stamatiou
weegysgram on Nov 12, 2008
Great article! I loved it, the article was so well written. I know alotof people don\’t like thinking about death but it sure is something that we all will have to do. Maybe you would like to check out the article I wrote called It\’s my funeral my way. Once again thanks for the great read!

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