It’s hard to believe that so many years have come and gone…so many summers and winters…so much laughter and tears…
At work the other day, I decided to sit on the back steps of the building and take a few minutes’ break from the pressures of my job. Lost in my thoughts, a small delicate snowflake decided to make it’s presence known by floating gently in front of me.
Flurries! As I looked up into the sky, more and more white flakes were coming down…all twirling and dancing their usual winter ballet which, yearly, confirmed that winter was indeed here again.
How many winters have I seen? More than I would like to admit to! :)
But how could that be because it feels like just last year when I was throwing snowballs at friends and sliding down hills on saucer-shaped sleds!
Wasn’t it just two weeks ago when my oldest daughter was born…and a week later, my youngest?
Time seems so slow when you want a specific hour to arrive…yet where did the time go? So many memories of loved ones now passed…their faces I can still see…their voices I can still “hear”.
So many holidays and special occasions where laughter and fun abounded…and loneliness thrived alongside silence.
So many mistakes made that can’t be corrected…so many good decisions that helped make life worthwhile.
So much wishing that I could go back in time to correct certain things…and to appreciate even more deeply those things that still make me smile to this day.
The memory of my oldest daughter wanting to bake cookies for her Pre-school class when she couldn’t even see the top of the stove! 
And the memory of my youngest daughter wanting to help scale fish while just a tadpole, herself!
How long were they young? Because it seems as though they have been grownups for quite some time now….each daughter choosing and walking down her own individual path of life. Please, God, let them make wiser decisions than me so that when they are much older, their regrets will be far less!
So many memories that it would take another lifetime just to list everything! And still there would be memories missing because they existed too long ago.
And then my break from work ended. My watch said it was time for me to go back inside again.
As I rose to a standing position, my body groaned with the effort of having to straighten out joints that have done so much bending and straightening out over the years.
Once again I was made painfully aware that time, indeed, keeps relentlessly traveling forward…and that although I may still feel as though I’m twenty-three and looking out of the eyes of this body that God has let me use, this body does not look like how I feel inside of it.
I am still young…ageless…but the day will eventually arrive when I have to finally leave this body behind.
And I am certain that on that day I will ask, “where did the time go?”
Hi Brianberu; Your grandfather was a wise man! If time is already seeming to speed out of control, I hate to think of how fast everything will feel if and when I’m eighty!!
It feels good to be back even for only a visit. I do hope, though, that when my schooling ends sometime next month, I can be back here “full time”! I’m still “computer-illiterate”, though. Some things never seem to change!
Hi Christine; Isn’t it strange how we say, “we’ll do it next time” to our kids because it feels like they’ll be with us for so many years…and then we wake up one day to find that there are no more “next times” because everyone has grown up and left the nest. It’s no wonder that older people get along better with their grandchildren…we’ve learned a thing or two.
Instead of doing my homework “tomorrow”, I did it last night. So I was able to write!!
Hi Goodselfme! It’s so good to hear from you, too!! As I was writing this article, I was also wondering if anyone would remember me since it’s been so long!
I’m still in my nurse refresher course…still doing good…but time is definitely starting to “stand still” whenever I think of the course’s ending. Lol! I’ll be glad when it’s over so I can get back to writing! Take care.
Hi Lauren; Thank you so much! I have to agree totally with you that it truly is amazing at how much we accomplish…or at least go through…while trodding this earth! If there is a chance to be able to do this whole living thing all over again, I’m signing up…I just hope that I’m not so slow in learning life’s lessons the next time as I was in this lifetime!
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