Thinking about it, I don’t know where I am. Yes, I am here in this 4-walled-office. But I feel like I’m not here at all. You know, there are times when I feel like I’m just a walking zombie trying to get a life in this endless journey of life. Sound nonsense, I don’t know the term to describe it. Going with the flow, is it? I don’t know. All I know is “I’m lost”. I’m wondering if I would turn back time, what will I changed? But still I don’know the answer to that.  I’m scared. I’m scared that if I’ll be gone no one will remember me the way I want them to. Time is passing but still I’m here ticking over. Makes me want to laugh. Cry. Sad but I feel empty inside. This has been going on for so long, I don’t remember how it started anyway. I envy people that know what they want. I don’t know my purpose. I don’t even know why I’m wrting here. Im an anti-social. I hate people. Hope they will just leave me alone. I want to be alone. Suicide? No way! I still want to see where this journey will take me. Inspiration maybe is what I’m lacking. Oh, how I wish someone can give me that.  I’m getting nowhere here.