Preface

“Summer, how are you feeling right now?”

Staring intently at a color by numbers Rudolph the red nose reindeer print out, I listened to the words that were coming from Paul, the aspiring med student but part-time tech here at the hospital, I just ignored him and kept coloring. I could sense his gaze on me, trying to figure out what I was thinking and feeling but I knew he couldn’t.

“Summer… Are you listening? How are you feeling?” I could sense his frustration and urgency this time so I decided to respond to his questions. I didn’t want to be here but I didn’t want him to think that I wasn’t co-operating and that I needed to be here.

“I’m fine, perfectly fine!” I responded in a weak tone. I was so tired from the day’s events that I couldn’t even recognize my own voice anymore.

“Excellent! Are you in any pain, physically?”

“No.” I responded eventually. I had pondered this question for what seemed like a long time. My heart was physically in pain from being broken and I was in so much emotional pain but I didn’t know what the right answers were. All I knew was that this was not the place I wanted to be and I had to get out.

“Good! Are you having any suicidal or homicidal thoughts?” His tone now filled with concern not frustration.

“No, I’m fine.” He listened to my response and wrote on the piece of paper attached to his old clipboard. I wondered what he was writing. He was writing for a long time, much longer than if he was just writing my response. Did he believe me? Was he writing that I was in denial? My head was spinning with a million possibilities of what he could be writing. I wanted to know but I knew it wasn’t the time to ask him.

“You can get back to coloring now if you want.” He said as he stood up to put my file back in its rightful place and he walked off leaving me to my thoughts of why I was in this hospital for the mentally ill.

The Beginning

As I pulled into my apartment complex from a long day of school and shopping, my gaze wondered to a young couple, newly weds or so it seemed, bundled up in hats and jackets taking a stroll down the wooded path in front of my house. They were so deep in conversation, looking at each other with a passion in their eyes, that same passion which I longed for. They stopped for a brief moment, he kissed her, before they proceeded on their late night romantic stroll. How I missed that, the romance, the love. As I stepped out of my car I realized that it was a cold and peaceful night in the quiet suburb of Alpharetta, Georgia. It was almost Halloween and the smell of pumpkin and pine trees radiated the night air. The moon was full and bright casting its mystic shadow on the lake in front of my apartment. There was a strange aura in the air and I knew that tonight was going to be different.