I work at a sandwich shop called Jimmy John’s.  It’s known for making sandwiches extremely fast and also, they deliver.  I’ve had many jobs in different fields, however, the customers that come into this business blow my motherfucking mind more than cocaine.  Here are just a few examples of things that make me very angry, make me feel pity for the dipshit customer, and of course, the things we all wish we could say but we cannot because we’d lose our job.  I write on behalf of all the working people who wish they could say whatever they wanted to the customer without getting fired.  One day, my friends, we will have that freedom.

-People who walk to the end of the table where the finished sandwich gets wrapped and they ask “Is this where we order?”  (Hey fuckhead, you just walked in the front door, walked  past the huge ass line, the big ass menu and the cash registers, to the finished sandwich pick up section and your asking me if thats where you order.) Pathetic.  Like Da Vinci once said “OPEN YOUR EYES!”

-They order the sandwich and say they want everything that comes on it.  They pay, they sit there and watch you make the sandwich, and when you are done and have it wrapped up they say “Oh you know what, can I get that without mayonnaise?”  or  “Can I get that on different bread?”  (Did your brain go into a state similiar to cardiac arrest while we were making the sandwich?  Why did it take you 45 seconds to say “no mayonnaise please.” ?  Now I have to throw this bread away and some of the veggies because they are covered in mayo.  Thanks a lot asshole.  You just wasted my time and money.)

-It really amazes me when we have people ask us if we sell coffee , when our particular location happens to have a starbucks directly next door.  Its one thing to come to our store to by a sandwich and you just so happen to want coffee also.  I’m not talking about those people.  I’m talking about the people who want coffee only.  Nothing else.  They come in, look around, “do you sell coffee?”  “Oh you don’t?  Okay, see ya later.”  And they walk out.  (SICKENING.  I’ve come to the conclusion that  a lot of people wander around blindly, eyes and brain enveloped in stupidity.