You Done Messed with the Wrong Ginger……

By Frank Andrews

Occurred-January 2009

Ever met that one douche bag that didn’t have one redeeming quality? He’s the type of guy that you throw around words like “Go fuck yourself”, “God Bless”, or my all time favorite “I really hope you get bitten by zombies.” Tumbleshit is one of those douche bags. This guy sucks so much at life that I him in an argument one time told that I would skull fuck him for the greater good and compared him to Det. Reno Trupo (Josh Brolin) from American Gangster, particularly they part where he played Russian Roulette with no empty chambers. However, just like Farva, douche bags such as him can serve a purpose which as you should all know by now is helping to set me up for casual sex. It’s not like these douche bags can serve any other benefit than making me look like a knight in shining armor (by comparison). The following details this douche bag got his comeuppance, how a dead on look a like for an extra from the Steven Seagal film Marked for Death got a hands demonstration on the intricacies of the rear-naked-choke, and how I hooked up with a blonde that fulfilled my Marilyn Monroe fetish.

It was a busy night at SushiBar, I was working with ClemsonFan and nothing was out of the ordinary yet. As I was outside shooting the shit with ClemsonFan and dipping on some Grizzly Wintergreen LaraCroft came outside to inform us that Tumbleshit needed to be bounced for apparently spouting racial slurs in the bar. I had been eager to fuck this guy up for a LONG time, but I never had the opportunity to because he was the type of douche bag that would talk a big game. However when push came to shove he would pull out faster than a frat boy after a sorostitute scared shit out of him with her HSV-2 diagnosis mid-stroke. The fact that he was starting shit in a bar that I happened to be working at coupled with the remote possibility of him being aggressive where I could kick his ass in self-defense was like a present on Christmas Morning that I wanted wrap with a rear-naked-choke themed bow. Lo and behold he did a shit load of bitching, but no actual acts of physical aggression towards me.