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     I wish I could forget and move on but well, sorry but that hat don’t look good on me.  If you crossed me, damn you.  This isn’t baseball. One strike does me in.  I’d come after you if I wasn’t so lazy.  Frankly I’d much rather just watch something I DVrd over the weekend.  I forget, just not forever.  Do you feel me?     Not too long ago I used to be like you.  I saw such potential, love and prettiness in people.  I excused their shitty mood swings and doled out bitch slaps as “them needing to vent.” I now say “fuck em!”. They don’t need to vent, they just need to be removed from my rock.  When did I vent to he or she in such a manor?   It’s always them them them… Now I’m tired of the whining.  I think I’d make a pretty good man because as a girl I’m not doing to well.  Actually I’ll be 38 in June, so that makes me a woman, not a girl.  A few laugh lines, though I can saw quite honestly that they do not make me laugh.  I’m actually ready to douse them good with some rat poison to make them stop, just friggin stay still, and take those damn brow lines with ya!    Mom not perfect by any means, but then again compared to some of these characters deemed my friends, I’m a saint, an angel, a spokes person.  I tell you I speak how I feel at the moment.  Whatever Pours out just puddles there and it may be kool ade or it may be stale coffee but they drink it up just the same, yes they do.  A friend yelling in my face about feeling sad or overwhelmed will take anything from me.  ”I have problems too, you know…”. And the friend almost doesn’t pause at this for less that 5 seconds before carrying on some more.  ”my job sucks, it’s not what I wanted to do…” blah blah blah.  ”and another one cries to me about a boyfriend or lack thee of… “I hate my husband…” I reply.  ”oh, you got it good”. Comes their annoyed response before they continue sobbing their way into my head.  ” poor you”.  I finally just cave, because frankly I don’t care anymore.  Besides its what they seek anyhow.  ”it all sucks, Eve, but I’m trying to deal with it.” No, I’m thinking, you obviously are not trying to do just that.         Back to forgive.   Not!  Fucker, how bout me?  Where’s my turn?  So I hear this sob, this song and think, ‘My turn yet?’  But for what’re reason my turn never comes.  I can’t understand why.  Maybe me grinding my teeth or chewing these pitiful things called nails portrayed a happy go lucky ‘Woman’ swimming in a pool full of bliss munching on filet mignon all while sipping perseco in the sun with just the right amount of fizz to bring me to glory right there right now?!  No no no! Hear my bitchin.  I’m so done seeing in this haze.       Not long ago I used to be like you.  I used to dance with fairies and tell you you were wonderful.  Now I’m on the devils side and bring you the truth.  You got me on one of my ‘off days’ which is funny because I’ve been having less and less ‘on days’ lately.  So no you’re not feeling me, and yes, I’m off to talk to my husband who I actually love, by the way.  He’s my rock, but yes we fight all the time… At least he cares enough to listen to my woes.  I love him enough to watch a DVrd show with him at the end of the day.  Where do the strikes come in?  Who knows. This is my head talking and I’m just following this notion through until someone, a friend, stranger, strange friend?, lends me an ear and says “give it to me, I want to hear you and your problems…I’m here for you.”     Forever is a very long idea.  Just give me a touch worthy of feel and I’ll forget such superficial hunger.  I care too much.  The history of this human never becomes goddess.  I remain the same, unchanged, unwilling to evolve though I give such a show of it when put on the spot.  I simply don’t wear hats well of any kind, and that’s the truth.  I have this thing for feathers though. I like how they fall while all along being capable of flying high to the point of no return.