My ears caught these words “medical is the only field where my interest lies, I cannot be placed anywhere else”. Another one, “My areas of specialization will be infinite once I enter the practical field”. Such was the fantasy world of school, in high spirits and having an illusions world view, imagining future within a hand’s reach but the future appeared as particles of soil slipping away between the fingers.

Not very soon the real image zoomed in bit by bit on the one to one interaction with the governnt sector. The very beginning of getting an admission form of college, through getting the National Identity card or any other documentation of PRC or Domicile,  the worst form of government employee’s behavior and attitude is shot right on face . Not to be ignored the whirling round in the confused and always changing schedule set by the government for any exam or any admission, appears as a nightmare. The great place of college as in a person deserves best the saying “looking busy, doing nothing” and again the student has to bear the brunt of carrying both college and tuition together managing the internal and external circumstances along with the torture of hazardous course plan and pathetic exam strategy. Despite in essence of it the college life serves as two blank years with net gain as zero. And adding to the frustration are the sweating months of summer chosen for exams with no current in the wires and no water to wash away the terror. Not only just the own self of the student but the entire family is involved in bearing the hardships as if charged of some allegation. Still the strength is appreciable to see the most unexpected results or even finding oneself absent in the exam, sucking all the life but still the breathe goes on.

The urge of achieving self interests and going for self emotions is laid back in farsighted background and only “lets see what life comes up with” appears on fore. The state of surety, confidence and determination becomes vague in hands of disorganized system, expressed out or not, the kid’s psychology becomes the victim of great dissonance and the journey of which have just started. No doubt, intense hard work holds position, along with good luck, students able to get in the most desired and competitive fields become the elite or in essence of it the survivors in the boundless stretched ocean of students. The “left outs” (stereotype image) make their way to entirely different fields of education, never thought to be in. The prevailing un-satisfaction prevails either in the form of lack of interest in the particular subjects or the negligence and underdevelopment that department holds, gives a real hard time to both, as the students are not getting benefit and certain areas of education stay poor, or,  are diminishing. Who to get hold on for this? The self financed education is another deadly sting for the society, the exclusive ones going to sophisticated private institutions, to some extent on basis of their mind and to large extent on their pockets, enjoy the most facilities and comfy atmosphere of studies. In return their role out in society is hard to be counted on, but yes, capitalism and class discrimination are real gifts.