There is one in every class.
Tuesday Morning.
Oral Communication.
Not only is it too early for proper brain function,
but I am especially pissed this morning.
I scratched one of my Redman Cd’s, yay.
Two hours before I walked through the door
I was on my way back from Choctaw Casino, Pocola, Ok.
I lost $280 on the BJ tables. That’s what I get for playing
with dipshits who hit a 15 on the dealers 6 showing.
The idiot busts with 25, Dealer draws a 5 on his 16 and
now everyone is fucking pissed.
For some reason I always share every
class with at least one person that
drives me fucking crazy. Maybe it’s my fault(It’s not)
Well in oral communication, Katie is the prime annoyance.
She weighs a good 400 lbs, her face maintains a cherry-red
color, and unfortunately she speaks.
Our professor often asked questions out loud,
in order to get multiple opinions from the mouths
of brain-less students in my class.
One of his questions was “Ladies, if
He shows up at 7:30 instead of 7:00, is
the date still on?”
The females begin to chirp and grunt and
pretend like they wouldn’t put up with that.
(But pulling up at 7:30 never affected the
usual outcome for me.)
But as I ignore the flustered hens
one voice cannot be ignored.
It sounds like rotten spam sizzling
in a bath lard and Crisco.
Katie.
“He better just turn the car around and pray
I don’t find another date.”
It always took a moment for my brain to
accommodate her remarks.
Could this creature truly be serious?
The only man she found at her door
was the pizza boy.
I never liked liars, and I knew the only
date Katie ever waited on was 10 cent wing
night.
Not a man.
Her face was so bloated it disguised her
age. I guessed that she was between 19 and
38. Not that I gave a fuck.
Her lips were always sloppy in appearance and
wet with droll.
I’m sure this was due to the lip-licking
mid-class New China day-dreams.
Another typical Tuesday shut-the-fuck-up
moment occurred when Katie attempted to relate
to other girls in the class. Ha.
One of the skinny/sexy girls in the
room would rant about how cheap her man was.
“Oh God…Tell me about it.”Katie would say.
(Somebody would have to tell you about it
Katie, for you have NO idea what the sexy
Chic is talking about.)
Why Katie acted so hard to please I don’t
Know. Even the cheapest man would afford
the dollar menu.
I never did reveal my true feelings to Katie.
It would have been a waste of breath.
She thought she was hot shit, all sassy
and such.
How I did want to question this creature.
But I figured… like her appetite, her feelings of
self-value could not be spoiled.
For Katie had the perfect life.
Either she fantasized about having
a significant other, or, realized
she would never have to worry about
who gets the last slice of pizza.
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